Let Them Jump

I watched a video clip the other day that has really stuck with me. It was a video of an interview featuring Neil Degrasse Tyson, the astrophysicist, author, and science communicator who was being interviewed by Tom Bilyeu from Impact Theory. The video was shared via The Daily Goalcoast and was described as “How to raise kids that will become the shakers and movers of the world of tomorrow. “

The video, which you can watch here, starts with Neil describing a time where he saw a mother and her 3 year old child walking in Central Park after a rain storm. They were approaching a big juicy, muddy puddle and his only thought was, “let them jump”. Sure enough the mother walked the child around the puddle and in that moment, the innate curiosity that child possessed was extinguished. He goes on to describe how important it is to allow children to experiment with their environment, witness cause and effect, and explore everything that is new to them.

This really hit home for me. I am that mother. I am the mother that walks my kids around a puddle so they do not get their shoes all wet and muddy. I am the mother who is worried about “teaching” my child the “right” way to do things, including staying somewhat clean while out and about. I am not a pristine mother by any means, and it is not because I feel societal pressure to have my kid looking good all the time. (We often leave the house without combed hair and maybe some breakfast leftovers on their face being saved for later). But I do worry about the after effects of my child doing something dirty, messy or dangerous, because in my mommy head, I see the worst possible outcomes flash before my eyes. I would avoid a puddle thinking it would ruin his shoes, or knowing that I do not have a change of clothes for him with me, or that he would slip and fall, or splash some dirt in his eye. Writing this, I realize I am a bit of a worry wart….

“You don’t have kids with the intent of retaining a clean house”, Neil goes on to say in the video. And he is absolutely right. As parents, we know our homes are rarely clean and presentable, yet we still try to “manage” the disorder or hide it from others. I tend to clean best when I have someone coming over within an hour and I know I need to quickly make my house semi-presentable. But at what point do we all just say, “you know what, I have a messy house and that means my kid is happy and creative and energetic and I am fine with that.” Sure, there have been times where I may have had a play date and repeatedly apologized for my “messy home”, when in fact, it was the cleanest it has looked in about a month. But let’s not ponder on that thought too long. I think this is a good reminder for me when I look around my living room and see cars, trucks, Potato Head pieces and a bowl of half eaten berries. I will make an effort to remind myself that no one (should) expect my house to stay clean and tidy when I have 2 toddlers running around. But can someone please make an announcement from the rooftops to all moms, saying that it is OK for our homes to be messy, and that we do not have to be embarrassed? If we all accept it as a fact, then we can all be a bit happier and less stressed about it, right? There is something about moms comparing themselves to other moms and that needs to stop, but we really need to start with ourselves. Stop comparing your home’s cleanliness or organization to others. Stop feeling like you have to apologize for your home being lived in. “Kids are sources of chaos and disorder – get over that fact” -Neil Degrasse Tyson.

Neil goes on to talk about how parents and the school system see kids as an empty vessel that we have to pour knowledge into. But he argues that an adult scientist is really just a kid who never lost their curiosity. We, as parents and educators, need to not squash a child’s curiosity, but support their ambitions and initiatives. “Your task is less to instill curiosity in your kids than it is to make sure you don’t squash what is already there.” This really is the meat and cheese of this idea. As a mother of a nearly 3 year old who is presenting with Autistic characteristics, I really need to sit back and enjoy taking in this idea. This thought that children, especially those whose brains are wired a little different, have their own unique interests and curiosities that make them truly special. Knowing that my son is very smart and loves to figure things out, and has the concentration of someone trying to disarm a bomb, makes me realize that I need to be there to support him and his interests. Going through our special needs journey, I will remind myself to concentrate on the areas he is good in and support his curiosity and passions. Truly be there to support and inspire him to be true to himself and his interests, which I know will help him succeed.

Kids are sources of chaos and disorder, we just need to get over it. If it takes more energy to clean their shoes after a puddle jumping competition, just do it. Don’t squash their curiosity, let them learn from the world around them (But still keep them alive). Just… LET THEM JUMP!